Wicked!
Hello Rolland I’ve got some time now so well I’m going to listen to you just this once.
I watched my first Broadway musical, Mamma Mia! on Wednesday, and then my second Broadway musical, Wicked, on Thursday. What can I say? Wicked was truly wicked! Not to mention I got cancellation student priced tickets for Mamma Mia! and won the Wicked lottery on my first try and got front effing row tickets for $26.25 dollars. My life is complete.
New York City has been amazing. Being here really makes me wonder, even possibly regret perhaps, the fact that I gave up going to England. This may sound premature, given how short a time I’ve spend here, but coming here has made even more sure that Singapore is not where I want to live. I was talking to a friend who has been in the United States for six months on exchange and internship. He told me he felt the same way as I am now when he first came but after being here for half a year, nothing feels like home. I have only been here for three weeks, but I really don’t think I will miss home. There isn’t much for me to miss in Singapore. The only thing I agree 100% with him, is I miss home food. That’s all that I miss.
That’s all Rolland. 
It’s been a year
It’s been a year.
It’s weird how time passes so quickly. I can’t believe how fast the past year has passed. A lot of things have changed.
This space was meant to be a place for me to write down events and thoughts that I feel are worth remembering. Well, that has changed as well. I’ve decided that life is just too short to and precious to even spend an hour crafting out something that’s worth other people’s attention. It’s funny how even though I don’t care how many people visit this site, I used to write as though I’m a mega superstar.
But today is worth remembering. I thought I would feel miserable today, but I didn’t. I thought I would be lethargic and lifeless today, but I feel quite the opposite. No I haven’t forgotten. I couldn’t. It’s always comes to my mind every now and then. I just can’t believe it’s been one year.
A lot has changed. My priorities have changed, a lot, if I must add. I like the way my life is right now. I’m free, I’m easy. I’m letting go of commitments. I’m picking up new commitments. I am trying out new things. I’m learning new things. I am trying to live my life to the fullest. I am happy.
I am no longer sure what my goals are right now, but that doesn’t matter does it? I love what I’m studying. I’m sure I can figure something out in the next four years. Picking up climbing has been the best thing in SMU so far. I really enjoy it. After a long day in school, it feels great to just tire myself further on the wall. It really takes my mind off everything. I’d rather be climbing than doing anything else.
It’s been a year. I believe that she would want me to be happy, and thus far, I believe that I’m not doing such a bad job. She would be proud.
That’s it. I think I took an hour just to type this out. An hour wasted. Don’t bother checking back because I won’t be posting anything. Maybe next December? Oh look, the snow flakes are falling. I miss you.
Mysterious ways
I’ve always thought that the biggest regret in my life up till now is not doing well for my A levels; having to let my grades define who I can be, what I can do. But come to think of it, if I had aced my A’s, life would be totally different from what it is right now. I’ll probably be going to NTU. I’ll have a different dream. I won’t be making the decisions I’ll have to make right now. I’ll probably be in SOT. I’ll be heading for a drastically different future compared to the one I’m considering right now.
One thing I know. If I had aced my A’s, my life would be so much easier right now. And my future will definitely be so much easier to contemplate and achieve than now.
But I think I kinda like now. I kinda like my options. I kinda like what I’m considering. A different then would mean a different now. A different then can never produce a same now. Change is constant. Same same but different. Different different still different. Even if I could, I honestly don’t know if I would opt for better grades but a different now. Though now has a lot of room for improvement (i.e. money), I think I might keep now. Actually, I really don’t know.
God works in mysterious ways.
Heart massage
Izzie: I can’t get this clot out I need more suction. I need more.
Izzie: I can’t get it! Screw it. I’m using my hand.
Nurse: You have to massage the heart doctor.
Nurse: We have a pulse.
Great Izzie. You massaged a heart.
French Open 2011
So Nadal won the French Open. I could be there next year.
I could.
Heartache
I was just browsing through the channels on tv just now. I came upon Grey’s Anatomy. As I watched, my heart ached.
Izzie: I have eight million dollars. I can do anything I want. And all I really wanna do, is a running whipstitch.
What do you want?
Noah: Well that’s what we do, we fight! You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are being a pain in the ass, which you are, 99% of the time. I’m not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you’re back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing.”
Allie: So what?
Noah: So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna be really hard. We’re gonna have to work at this every day but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What’s it look like? If it’s with that guy, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I thought that’s what you really wanted, but don’t you take the easy way out.
Allie: What easy way? There is no easy way, no matter what I do, somebody gets hurt.
Noah: Would you stop thinking about what everyone wants? Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do you want? What do you want?
Allie: It’s not that simple.
Noah: What do you want? God damn it what do you want?
