there’s no pretense.

You know you want to put it in your mouth and chew, don’t you? I love cheese! (:

I really don’t know if I want to get into ASLC. Not that I have a choice as to where I’ll get posted to, but I don’t know if I mind getting posted to ASLC. I still hope that I’ll get into OCS. I really still want to get that chocolate bar instead of the 3 strips. Half my mind is also hoping that I’ll get posted to a slack vocation. My sergeant was telling me during Ex Grandslam about how the 3 weeks trip to Taiwan will be should I get into ASLC; how we’ll be climbing up hills during navigation; how amazing the scenery is; how fun and R&R will be; how it’ll really be one trip I’ll never forget. It’s not about going overseas. It’s not even about ASLC and getting my 3SG rank. It’s about going to Taiwan.

Oh how I miss Taiwan. I want to go back. Maybe it’s because it’s been years since I last went overseas when I went to Taiwan last year that Taiwan left such a deep impression on me. I don’t really know. Looks like there really is something common between me and Jane. (:

I just came back from Ex Grandslam this afternoon. Sadly, it rained.. one night and one day. Oh well..

Grandslam had been rather slack. All the learning and practicing was done during the previous field camp. This time, it was just doing it over again for assessment purposes. Most of my section mates got to slack for at least one of the missions, but unlucky me.. I was chosen for all three.

The night that it rained, I suddenly realized a lot of things while lying underneath my makeshift shelter after building it. Yes I don’t enjoy having to serve NS, though given the choice I’d still choose to serve and complete my two years. I seem to be contradicting myself but I know what I’m talking about. I’m also a guy who can’t wait to ORD, who wants to get back my freedom, but that night I realized that the army does give people a lot of once in a lifetime experiences, or rather, ‘first times.’

What are the odds of me actually being able to get a chance to hold a real rifle in Singapore?, not to mention even shooting with it. Or sleeping underneath just a piece of cloth in the jungle at night when it’s pouring? Or throwing a frag grenade? Or navigating around the jungle with just a compass and a map? Or marching 24km around an island carrying so much weight for no particular reason? Or doing PT in a gas chamber? Or not bathing for 5 days?

The army gave me a lot of ‘first times’, and there is so much more to come. Heliborne operations, or firing tanks, or artillery, MGs.. No I’m not implying that WOAH I LOVE THE ARMY NOW I CAN’T WAIT TO SIGN ON. It’s just that I’m thankful for these experiences which I’ll never get to try as a normal civilian. I can think back and say WOW I’ve tried and done that which not many have. (:

Oh and did I forget to mention that I got another durian break halfway during my mission? A durian just dropped right in front of us when we were resting. How many times do you get to see that as well? (:

Please please please pray that it doesn’t rain in Tekong from today till Saturday. I’m having yet another field camp there. NO RAIN!!!

Pastor’s message really ministered to me yesterday. Maybe I got distracted. Maybe along the way I got off tangent, I found myself looking unto another vision, the wrong vision. I find myself wanting the easier life, but now I’m starting to realize I still love what I use to be and use to do; to serve, minister and counsel; to sow into other people lives. But like what Grace told me yesterday, perhaps everyone’s spiritual life has its ups and downs, but no matter what continue pressing in. Nonetheless it’s improving. And I realized it’s been a long time since I shared about what’s going on in my life with Grace.

This post doesn’t really make sense to me even though I know what I’m talking about. Rather it’s hard to pend down all the thoughts that’s going through my mind.

Darkness may come, trials seem so long.
You are the Light, I depend on.
Through valleys and storms, Your Word keeps me strong,
My shelter, refuge and song.
I trust in You.

My mum accidentally flushed my epaulette down the toilet bowl while washing my clothes just now. Crap. I don’t think it can be bought anywhere else outside camp. Well I don’t blame her. She’s nice enough to help me wash my clothes already. What to do? I hope I can be issued another one without any punishments. It’ll suck if I have to sign an extra (or extras) just because of this.

Oh well.. There goes my red bar, the closest thing I’ll get to ever getting the black bar. Put my thumb in mouth and suck it up. :/

Just came back yesterday night from 4 days of field camp at Choa Chu Kang. As usual, camo-ing sucks. Other than that, everything else is pretty much alright, except for the freaking LBV which I always thought to be lighter in weight than the field pack during BMT. But apparently Sispec made me understand the true meaning of the Load-Bearing Vest (LBV).

Durian season is still on, and apparently there are durian trees growing in the jungle there, so my commanders kept going in to pick up those which have dropped on the ground and aren’t rotten yet. Yes we got a chance to taste them, or rather only my section. My first taste of local durians? Nothing spectacular. They taste just like. durians..

Oh and I never knew we can actually stop for a ‘durian break’ halfway during a mission just because my sect comm found a durian on the ground. Now that’s funny. (:

I just booked out yesterday night. It’s been a tiring week of live firings and navigation exercises through Lower Mandai. Didn’t get much sleep due to all the late nights after we came back from outfield. Well at least the week is over, though sadly, next week is going to start just tomorrow.

After I reached home, I visited Rolland’s blog and saw this. How appropriate.. How apt.. :/

All For Love
Oh how many times have I broken Your heart?
But still You forgive,
If only I ask

And how many times have You heard me pray?
Draw near to me.

Everything I need is You,
My beginning my forever.
Everything I need is You, is You.

Everything I need is You?
No.
All I need is You.

Abba Father please have Your way.